Nine Sex Trends of Menopausal Women
Sep 01, 2021
Joan Rivers was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer and television host. She was noted for her often-controversial comedic persona - heavily self-deprecating and sharply sarcastic. She was never one to shy away from controversial topics. In honor of the late, great firecracker, here are some of our favorite Joan Rivers one-liners on sex to have a little foreplay with you lovely ladies – just lay back and enjoy!
- Want to know why women don't blink before foreplay? Not enough time.
- If my husband didn’t toss and turn we would never have a kid.
- My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
- I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was the man goes on top and the woman underneath. For 3-years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
- Don't talk to me about Valentine's Day. At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass.
- Everybody talks about multiple orgasms. I am lucky if both sides of my toaster pop.
Read like an orgasm: “Ah!Ah!Ah! Ahhhhhhh!” Wasn’t that wonderful? According to the Journal of Menopausal Medicine 2019, sexuality is more involved than any other activity in culture, society, and emotional values; a systematic review was conducted according to the Preferred Reporting Items for Systematic Reviews and Meta-Analyses (PRISMA) guidelines. The prevalence of sexual dysfunction among all women is estimated to be 25% to 63%. It is higher in women with menopause and reaches from 68% to 86.5%. Sexuality is not exclusively a physical phenomenon. Other factors include the individual's lifestyle and a deep consciousness as a human being. Additionally, socio-economic and cultural factors affect a person’s and society’s perception of sex and sexual behaviors.
Where is My Libido?
Libido is the degree or level of interest in sexual enjoyment. As CEO of Club Menopause, Dr. Leslie Hewitt shares, “I heard from many women about their sex lives during menopause. I asked women this question -- is menopause having an impact on your sex life?” The answers were not surprising. We categorized them because there was not a clear-cut yes or no. Look at these categories and see if you fit into any of them. Many of the women we talked to said they fit into more than two.
9-Sex Trends of Menopausal Women
- Low libido
- High libido
- Take it or leave it
- Toys can be erotic, either alone or with partners
- Happily single and will have safe sex while dating
- Living separately and in a committed relationship
- Communal living
- Swingers
- Polyamory
1. Low Libido
During menopause, many women experience a reduction in libido. However the causes vary from one person to another. Some reported pain due to vaginal dryness and difficulty with vaginal lubrication. If this is the only reason for low libido, you are amidst the lucky group because there are wonderful essential oils and lubricants that can get you back in the saddle again. Other women noticed hormone changes resulting in decreased blood flow, arousal and orgasm. Many women reported frustration with side-effects such as irritability, depression, hot flashes and night sweats; many of which affected their ability to feel sexy or in the mood. To this category of women, they decided to stop responding to sex because it is not worth the time and effort.
2. High Libido
“My partner and I discovered ways to make sex fun and full of ecstasy. There are times we would go out for dinner and I wouldn’t wear any underwear under my dress to enjoy a little semi-public sex play”. If you want more fun ideas like this; you may want to read the 2020 edition of 101 Grrreat Nights of Sex by Laura Corn. It gives you romantic suggestions on how to make your sex life great. You get 101 sealed envelopes — 50 for her eyes only, 50 for his eyes only plus one special seduction you can complete together. Even if you don't feel in the mood for sex, try having romantic play with your partner. This seems to be at the core for the women who had high libidos. This category of women genuinely enjoy sex because they own their experience and are comfortable sharing how they like to orgasm.
3. Take it or Leave it
“I came to understand that I need more mental engagement and physical stimulation” was a common statement from women in this category. Women shared that they provided sex for intimacy in their younger years. Some women sadly revealed decades of faked orgasms just to get the connection they wanted while also enabling their partner’s sexual ego. Many menopausal women have given up on sex for other reasons; including being single or widowed, enjoying their grandchildren, retired with spare time to do more of what they love to do or volunteer in ways that bring a renewed vitality to their life, and some claim they are truly asexual and it is no longer an important aspect of their life.
4. Toys Can Be Erotic
There are vibrators, lubricants and other toys that menopausal women can enjoy either alone or with a partner. Women in relationships use these toys to dare we say train their partners. Indeed toys bring a new level of connection and arousal to the bedroom. We encourage you to explore what is out there and do not be shy. Club Menopause is a group of menopausal women speaking out about the taboos that have diminished a woman’s sexual expression. Let’s speak openly about these taboos. Get yourself a toy ladies!
5. Safe Sex
First and foremost be safe with your body and your partner choices. Establishing excellent communication with your partners is vital to achieving your goal of having quality sex. This category of menopausal women were clear that they raised their kids, devoted decades to their family life, and now divorced; were happy to live alone and enjoy what they called friends with benefits.
6. Living Separately
Women have seen advancements since the 1950’s. They have access to their own financial resources due to education and empowerment, and they do not need to rely on a man to support them. Our older post-menopausal women shared that in their days they had to get married and have a family of their own to get out of their childhood homes with their parents. Some menopausal women are old-fashioned and want that one special relationship; however they do not want to give up their home and everything they worked for. They love their privacy and yet they also want that special person to enjoy date nights, a companion to travel with, and they love to share their families with each other during the holidays and throughout the year.
7. Communal Living
This is a new idea for menopausal women; however it is not completely new when you consider the notion of tribes as a community with similar values and interests. Many menopausal women with or without financial means have discovered that when they pool their resources, they can live and work in a co-op society organized around purpose, friendship and true collaboration. Communal living is on the rise.
8. Swingers
Some menopausal women either connect with a married couple looking to spice up their life or two married couples explore the idea of swapping partners for a night of fun. Club Menopause is all about exposing taboos so we consider swingers one of those hush-hush secrets that we want our menopausal women to talk openly about without being judged.
9. Polyamory
If you are new to this category, it is much different than swingers according to the people who shape their lives in polyamory relationships. According to Susan Winter, a New York City relationship expert; a polyamory relationship is often characterized by a primary couple that openly and with mutual consent engages with other romantic partners. The primary emphasis of polyamory is about having loving relationships or partnerships with more than one person, whereas the swinging lifestyle is more focused on casual, non-emotional sex with your partner and with other couples. Like all relationships involving sex, there are rules of engagement and boundaries. Our menopausal women who enjoy polyamory declare that this lifestyle has either healed or further-harmed relationship wounds depending upon the level of communication and boundary-setting.
Conclusion
Not only are women more empowered, educated and have their own money; but they are very deliberately choosing how they will live out their menopausal and post-menopausal lifestyles. Menopause is crossing boundaries formerly considered distasteful or perhaps too sacred for women. A taboo is an implicit prohibition on something usually against a behavior and typically based on a cultural sense that it is excessively revolting in virtually all societies.
Recall previously in this article the prevalence of sexual dysfunction among all women and especially in menopausal women. Sexuality is not exclusively physical but involves lifestyle, culture, society, perception and consciousness. Club Menopause is a community of menopausal women ready to change the statistics of sexual dysfunction and co-arise with an empowered voice against the taboo.
