The ABC's of Radical Self-Care
Jul 16, 2022
We were in a Mastermind Zoom call with Dr. Liz Lyster who is our MD and Hormone Expert at Club Menopause [link]. CEO of Club Menopause, Dr. Leslie Hewitt said that Dr. Liz's statement hit her personally like a ton of bricks. Dr. Liz said, "You can't pour from an empty cup. I am here to remind you to take care of yourself". Thanks for that Dr. Liz. All too often, women take care of everyone else first before themselves. This is true for female doctors also, says Dr. Leslie.
Dr. Liz shared, "What I observe all too often is that people (women, in particular) are self-conscious or even self-critical about taking time for themselves. Many of us have a little voice (mine seems to be in my ear – maybe yours sits on your shoulder) that expresses disapproval if I say NO to an invitation, or if I leave work on time to do something I love like a yoga class or get home to relax after a long day."
Dr. Liz has a simple little formula to help you get that voice to shut up (or at least quiet down) before you get exhausted caring for kids, supporting your aging parents or doing things for everyone else in your life before you take care of yourself. This formula is as simple as A-B-C.
A is for ADVOCATE
Dr. Liz says, "advocate for yourself". She said most of the patients she takes care of have been told at one point or another by a friend, loved one, or even a doctor, that they just” have to accept feeling more tired as they get older. Not true! There is so much more knowledge out there than what traditional medical care tells you to help you feel great as you get older.
In particular, if your doctor will do some testing for you (i.e. go beyond telling you, you’re just getting older and you just have to accept it). Dr. Liz says, "Go for better than being barely inside the normal range”.
Another area in which to advocate for yourself is in the area of natural vitamin supplements. The problem, at least in the U.S. is medical doctors are generally not taught this information.
Dr. Liz says the medical program in the United States lacks in nutrition. She said, "When my parents were in medical school in Argentina in the early 1960’s, they received extended education in nutrition. In the American medical school I attended, I had a nutrition class for the grand total of ONE WEEK. During this week we focused on details such as the illnesses that occur in the total absence of one vitamin (such as scurvy without vitamin C or Beri-Beri without vitamin B1) with nothing mentioned of vitamins to support optimal health".
B is for BOUNDARIES
After you advocate for yourself, you need to set boundaries around yourself and your priorities. Dr. Liz shared, "If you don’t attend to a problem or an issue, life will whisper to you about it. If you don’t listen to the whispers, then life will send you messages. If you ignore the messages, they will get louder. Keep ignoring those louder messages and a crisis will develop".
Time is a resource that every person on earth has in the exact same quantity. YOU get to choose how and with whom you spend your time. Whoa --- Dr. Liz says remember this one word -- NO!!! This is a complete sentence! Freely use this complete sentence to set boundaries for yourself and your priorities.
Not only is it not selfish to set boundaries, it sets a great example for your kids. (It can also set a great example for your parents, but this might be another story).
C is for CALENDAR
After you have advocated for yourself and set boundaries, the last step in the formula is to put items on your calendar to ensure they will happen.
Dr. Liz shares a personal story and we all leaned in when she said, "When my kids were small, we lived in Manhattan Beach, California. My neighbor Jackie, mom of three little kids, asked for a great Mother’s Day present which was to go to bed at 6:30 pm with no obligations that day. But why should Mother’s Day be only once a year? Just because society expects us to care for everyone else the other 364 days per year, we can go against this trend and get the quality time, pampering or alone time we need in our lives, and all year round".
If you can’t get out of your house for some reason, then just have a cup of coffee or tea sitting at the backyard enjoying peace and quiet. Get a massage or go for a walk. Put it on your calendar so you don't forget to take care of yourself. Tell other people you have a meeting. Because you do – a meeting with your body, your health and yourself.
A = Advocate
B = Boundaries
C = Calendar
Caring for yourself is not selfish. You can’t pour from an empty cup. It’s as simple as A-B-C. What we love at Club Menopause is Dr. Liz Lyster not only is an amazing MD and Hormone Expert but she also loves holistic, healthy and healing habits that go beyond her traditional medical school training. She enjoys combining prescription hormones for her patients in addition to educating them about lifestyle habits that have scientific evidence THEY WORK!!!
